Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You were trust falling into bushes
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
why is half of my head shaved?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
