As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
All the doctor said was why
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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