When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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