K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize