if i can run in heels then i can drive
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
