Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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