where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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