i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
