I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
