They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
a search helicopter?!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize