I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
