apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
