I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
