I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
