it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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