I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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