I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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