I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
