I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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