she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Thank you for not boning my boss.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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