If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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