whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
