i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
