Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
now i know why i became what i already was.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
pray to the hookup gods
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
