Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
