Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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