You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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