in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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