census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The best revenge is premature balding
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
