i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
only you would photoshop your dick
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
