Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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