Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
