We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
