You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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