Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
