considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
