it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We are two peas in an std pod
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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