so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
