I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
