idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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