She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize