Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Even my vagina gasped.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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