I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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