sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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