Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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