only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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