how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
