I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
