I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
