do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
