is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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