working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
