he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
