The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I wannas sexs uuuuu
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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