just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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