Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
