Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
