i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
