Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
