So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
