Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
