he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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